Tips and Pitfalls in Long Distance Relationships

By | June 27, 2013

long-distance-relationsipIt can be very easy to get wrapped up in a great long shopping list of advice about how to manage yourself and your relationships. Sometimes it’s just useful to have a simple checklist of things to keep an eye on as a reality check. With that in mind, here are some tips and some things to watch out for in your long distance relationship.


  • Don’t be afraid to speak up about anything that is worrying you.
  • Always be the real you, not the person you think your partner wants you to be.
  • Trust is absolutely the key to making things work.
  • You will both go through periods where one or the other of you is busier than the other. Don’t panic, just keep each other in the loop. If you are the one who is going to be busy, let your partner know ahead of time. If you are the less busy person, take advantage of the extra time. The important thing is to stay flexible.
  • Always try to be positive and happy when talking to each other, whether messaging, texting or calling. The support you give each other by being supportive about what they do is essential to help through times of doubt.
  • Avoid temptation – there will always be situations and people who come your way, so don’t make life any more difficult for yourself and avoid the situations you can.
  • Always listen whenever your partner suggests something that might make the relationship stronger. Even if you both decide not to go for it, the fact you have listened and been open to talking without pre-judging it will make you both stronger.
  • Always be there for your partner. Always.
  • Tell your partner you love them every day. It’s easy for doubts to creep in, so make sure they know how you feel.
  • Living apart gives you both a great opportunity to keep doing your own things while maintaining your connection. Enjoy and appreciate the flexibility and room it gives you as some form of balance to your having to be apart.


  • It’s easy at first when love and passion are the driving forces of your relationship, but over time you’ll need more effort to show commitment. This is normal, so get into the habit of making every effort as soon as possible.
  • Long distance relationships are hard, there’s no two ways about it. In large part this is because being away from the person you are emotionally attached to will cause emotional swings. It’s easy for simple fears to get overblown and overtake your loving feelings, so do your best to keep talking and keep things in perspective when you have disagreements.
  • It can be a lot easier to get into arguments too, because text messaging is notoriously unhelpful at conveying people’s tone making it easier to misinterpret things. It can also be a lot easier to be abusive or hurtful when you’re not talking face to face because they aren’t right there with you. Always take the time to think about what you’re saying and how you say it – and if you are unsure about what someone has said, ask them to clarify.
  • By the same token it is entirely natural to disagree and have fights. How you deal with that is a test of your relationship whether you are together or at a distance.
  • Every relationship takes hard work and dedication so don’t be surprised to find yourself feeling tested by twists, turns and bumps in the road. Over time you will come to appreciate the contribution these trials make towards strengthening your relationship.
  • Long distance relationships are just as trying as short distance, or proximal ones. This doesn’t mean that that they don’t work. There will always be people who will be happy to tell you that it has no chance, but they aren’t the ones who are in it and trying to make it work. Don’t listen to anyone who seems determined to convince you of the hopelessness of your situation.
  • Remember that your strongest ally in this is your partner and the trust that you have in each other. Nurture it and support each other, because nothing will poison what you have quicker than allowing paranoia to flourish.

There are a wealth of local dating websites out there that specialise in connecting local people rather than simply throwing everyone into a huge pool of members to fight it out between themselves.

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