There has been a lot of talk recently in the UK press about online dating scams especially focussing on so called casual encounters sites which claim to connect people looking for casual sex or even an affair. Whatever your moral stance on these types of sites, are they actually a genuine way to meet people for sex or are they just a scam to separate you from your hard earned cash?
First off, let me start by saying there are some genuine casual dating sites out there with thousands, even millions of real members. BUT there are also a lot of fake sites, sites that use questionable methods to entice new members and sites that have absolutely no regard for your personal information.
Adult dating sites are probably the easiest way to find a f-buddy or some no strings sex if you find the right site. Hell, many of my single buddies have been very successful at finding loads of girls looking for sex on such sites but saying that, some of these guys have also had success finding girls on free dating sites like Plenty of Fish.
Try before you buy.
Look out for special offers and free trials. Most of the respectable adult personals sites offer some sort of free trial. Whether it’s a free day of full access or a permanent account with limited messaging options, getting the chance to try the site out first is the best way to gauge how good or bad a site is. Avoid any sites that ask you for your credit card details to activate your free trial. It’s an all too common scam and you card will most likely be charged whether you want or not. With so many victims of this kind of fraud not reporting it for fear of having to explain to their card issuer what type of site they were trying to use.
Check out some bigger online dating brands. Many of the well known dating brands also offer a casual hook-ups section tucked away discreetly. I would rather trust my personal details to a well known brand with a good track record than to some fly by night operator I have never heard of.
In summary, there are some legit sites out there offering a genuine service. Just use common sense and trust your instincts. If you are bombarded with messages from hot women within moments of signing up especially if you haven’t even uploaded a photo yet, chances are these are automated messages from fake profiles. If you are asked for your credit card to ‘activate’ your free trial be prepared to be charged. In short, if it seems too good to be true it probably is.
You must be mad to want to have a long distance relationship. What on earth is wrong with you? Why on earth would you want to pick an evening of talking on Skype or Face Time with someone the other side of the country when you could be having a night down the pub with a couple of drinks instead with someone? It really does beggar belief. People will give you all sorts of reasons why, of course, they’ve chosen this path and I’m sure we all know someone who has taken the plunge and is full of the joys of spring about it all. They’re all loved up and finding it all worth it, and you know what? None of us believe it. We can see the pain and misery mixed with denial and desperation. I know what I’m talking about – I used to be in one a few years back. Then I woke up and took a long hard look at myself and came to some honest realisations. It was rubbish, neither of us was happy and it was dragging us both down into the dirt.
It’s not all bad. Keeping the fire alight over the short term can and does work in many cases but if you are going to be apart for a long period maybe due to work or studies, keeping the relationship going can be hard. Before you take on the challenge you need to know what lies ahead.
As much as you tell yourself it will be OK, love will conquer all and all the other mushy stuff you see and read, the harsh reality is long distance relationships take hard work and commitment on both side to work. If one of you isn’t committed the relationship is doomed from the outset. From the moment those nightly texts or skype calls starts to turn into weekly calls. The anxiety soon starts to build. Why are they too busy to call, are they still interested, where are they going and with who. This can quickly escalate into a untrusting relationship and the cracks will soon start to form.
The amount of time that you have been with someone is no guarantee that you’re going to be with them for the rest of your lives. If you’re super loved up and everything, then that’s great for you but be prepared to face an awful truth. Long distance relationships rarely work out – and inevitably when they end, they end messily. Don’t believe for a minute that you’re somehow going to end up still being friends or occasionally hooking up in a friends with benefits situation when you both happen to end up in the same place at the same time. It never ends well, and at least one of you is going to end up crying.
It’s tempting to stay with someone just because you’re comfortable and bouncing along safely – but resist it. Comfortable very easily becomes bored which is only a short step away from ‘I have to get out of here’. And trust me, there are people who are just as amazing living not very far away from you who will give you far less drama. You’ll just never know it if you don’t get the hell off Skype and try living for a change. I really hope you listen to me and escape the fate of those people who get old and sad, regretting that they stayed too long in a dysfunctional long distance relationship that sapped their will to live – because no one likes listening to them. Take care out there now.