We all know how difficult it is to successfully find love the second time round, so why not take a look at our simple five step plan. We think it will help make the whole thing less traumatic.
It happens to far too many of us – maybe you’ve got divorced, or otherwise got over someone who broke your heart, or perhaps instead you’ve finally come to terms with losing someone far too early in your life. Your relatives and friends are probably not being shy and retiring about telling you to get out there and start the search for someone new, and that may actually be helping a bit towards feeling ready. Then reality hits, and you realise that you haven’t been on a date for a very long time.
No one wants to look like a complete fool, and when you’ve been blissfully out of touch with the dating scene it’s very easy to start panicking about where to get started again. Don’t worry; you can make it all work for you instead of feeling like you’re on a helter-skelter.
- Step One – Decide what you want. It sounds obvious but what would make you happy? Are you looking for a friend, a lover, or a companion who combines the best of both? The decision is entirely yours. The only way that you’ll be able to move on is for you to be able to recognise what you miss, what makes you happy and what you won’t put up with.
- Step Two – Decide how you are going to date. There are so many options now, from the old fashioned approach of introductions through friends, or online dating sites – tip: there are a number of dedicated mature dating websites exclusively for mature singles. Then again, you may prefer to try speed dating or perhaps you could pluck up your courage and chat to someone new in the local supermarket. Go for whichever approach appeals to you.
- Step Three – Write down what you’re looking for in your new partner. Should they be funny, or caring or are you just going for looks this time? Perhaps it’s all about the brain and an intellect to spark off, or would you rather have someone you can relax on a sunny beach with? This is generally what we call compatibility, and it’s one of the most important elements of a lasting relationship. Most dating websites have some sort of filtering service to help you make that match with the right person, so thinking about it now will make it easier in the long run.
- Step Four – Decide how you are most comfortable corresponding with your date. Are you happy to dive straight into face to face contact, or would you rather start off more slowly with emails, online chat or phone calls?
- Step Five – Get started and put all these decisions into practice. Life and dating are both about taking chances and learning as you go along, so if your first approach doesn’t work, change tack and and have another go. As they say, variety is the spice of life, so go for it.